whoopsilah...(and the pint size margharitas)

pint sized margharitas. who knew?
in my dimdum, lights out, rum affected state i thought a pint sized margharita would be a tiny tiny little margharita. you know, like, how you say, oh that is so cute, it is pint sized, or like, he/she is such a sweet pint sized little thing.
a pint sized margharita however is not so fucking tiny.
it is a whole PINT of the strongest booze in the world.
so next time someone yells "yay, pint sized margharitas! you want one?" you'll know to say, er, maybe i should just start with a regular one...
or you'll wake up in the morning with your guts asking, ever so politely if theyre anything like mine, to be removed.

ackee rice salt fish are nice and the rum is fine anytime of year

as a fitting end to my summer of adventure, food and fun harry cooked us a feast of ackee tonight. (we had fake prawns instead of salt fish but they were still nice). ackee is the Jamaican egg fruit pictured above. it tastes like egg and even has the texture of egg and yet it's a fruit. Amazing!
i leave america tomorrow...
so now we are off to drink rum to ease the farewell process.
very sad. as i sit in harrys appartment i see planes fly past the window (from a distance obviously).
tomorrow i'll be strapping myself in to the great metal bird in the sky and ploughing through acres of air to land back in australia.
i believe this will be the last entry in my america blog.
i've met soo many groovey wicked lovely people and i feel expanded. i think my mind heart (stomach) and lungs have all grown.
so i leave with this song tinkering around in my head:

cos i'm sad to say i'm on my way
wont be back for many a-day
my heart is down
my head is turning around
i had to leave alot of friends in US towns...

the vegetarian vampire

went to one of those cult viewings of the rocky horror picture show last night and watched Brad ("asshole") and Janet ("slut") get lost in a sweet transexual hell. we sat up the back and drank rums n cokes n put on rubber gloves when the transexual did and people shouted so much shit at the screen that i'm still not sure what the actual plot of the story was.
have just finished reading dracula so all this transylvanian reference is spooking me out...
are there vampires? am i one?
i've been checking my throat every morning for the tell tale signs. nothing yet.
its just that my canine teeth are very sharp.
ever since i became a vegetarian. i suppose its cos i don't crunch on bones. so really i'm the opposite of a vampire but who knew - being the antithesis to a vampire makes you look like one too.

skeletons & the bulgarian social club

i have a hangover.
one last wild weekend in new york will do that to you i've found.
by day we went to the planetarium and cavorted with skeletons in the natural science museum.
by night we danced up a storm in the bulgarian social club.
the dj was playing the best kind of world music - arabic, indian, bollywood, eastern european flavoured themes on a bed of western beats.
the temperature was going up, the vodka was going down, and my head was going round and round.

abducted by aliens...

i was.
whilst walking down the street just before.
and now i'm all fucked up.
so.
i was walking, eating a felaful. yum.
two regular chicks pulled up beside me in a car and called out to me
"miss, excuse me miss".
they asked me what i was eating.
i replied. felaful.
they didn't know what a felaful is.
uh oh.
when i looked down, my feet were in a slightly different position.
and my face was in a funny position.
its taking a while to get back into the swing of things down here on earth.
can't say where i've been but i've been tagged i think...

fainting goats and scared fish

went to a lecture given by harry to his zerbra fish department today. it was rad.
tried a special blending in look for the lab crowd - i call it the "inconspicuously intelligent" facial expression.
basically you try to sit very still (it helps to tuck your hands under your bum so you don't accidentally put your hair in your mouth or pick your nose a little bit), smooth out all the lines on your face and encourage a little crease to form just between your eyebrows running vertically inline with your nose. laugh when they laugh, nod when they nod. feel free to shake your head at certain times but be prepared to back that up as you may be asked to justify your shaking.
don't catch anyones eye or they may discover the a look of great blankness hiding behind the massively dilated pupils.
i did follow the lecture closely and found it very interesting.
especially the bit about the goats that fall over and faint when surprised...
(http://www-personal.umich.edu/~jimknapp/goats.html)

ani difranco on the rocks

that's the wee folk singing ani difranco standing on the rocks at the water fall about ten seconds before i went up and thoroughly embarrassed myself by speaking words of no connection. the other picture is her on stage at falcon ridge about 4 hours later (just so u can tell i didn't make it up).
and here is a transcript of one of the most embarrassing conversations i've ever had in my life. [please laugh. i am]:
RB: hi
AD: hi
RB: are you ani?
AD: yeah.
RB: hi, i'm rosie
AD: hi.
RB: i really like your music
AD: oh, ok.
RB: yeah, its really great...
AD: cool.
RB: he he hmm...
(and then a little side mumbling as some girl proceeded to jump 1000 feet off the top of the waterfall infront of us stealing all my glory and then,)
RB: cool well see ya
AD: yeah, see ya.

so, i really feel i got across there just how much i enjoy her music, ie, how inspiring i've found it, all those nights of jumping up and down in the living room to her music, and allowing her to elevate my soul and heart with her melodies etc...

fest success

me and my partners in crime (vickie n liam) had a wild time at the falcon ridge folk festival. what a crazy beast the folk festival is. here is a small list of the variety of experience you can expect from the smallish american folk festival:
dancing in the dirt till your feet hurt n go black (no its not a tan).
husband and wife performing couples teaching you about the word "nameste" as if no-one has ever heard of cultural difference before;
1 am dancing on a hilltop under the biggest bowl of stars you've ever seen, to the best fucking blue grass your bones have ever jumped up and down to;
a sweet singin pair of sisters with a small chip on their respective shoulders and a massive following of middle aged swaying women;
lots of crazy hippies offering me trailmix;
a few of your fave folk idols jigging up and down on the stage as they crack through their number one hits;
goosebumps on a 40degree day;
beer, grass, lawn, hilltops, 40degree days, waterfall swimming, inspirational and amusing performances
to name a few things.

oh, and i met loads of little young lesbians who were in love with ani difranco. ah, it took me back...

the man with the high pitched laugh

wow.
just spent the evening in a weird bar in the deepest heart beat of philly cheese steak land watching a caberet of comedy.
well they called it comedy.
i called it plain strange.
and there was a man there, who was one of the comedians it turns out, who had the most incredibly high pitched laugh you've ever heard. every time someone made one of their unfunny jokes he would explode into high pitched, knee slapping, head shaking, peels of cackley hiyeena style laughter.
everyone was looking at him alot.
more than at the comedians (use that term lightly).
i used to go out with a girl with a very loud attention drawing laugh.
i have just one thing to say.
to all people with attention drawing laughs:

it is not so funny for the people sitting next to you.

porn.

my email account has suddenly been infiltrated by pornstars.
14 emails in 5 minutes.
how the fuck does that happen???

tent pitched n ready

in harrys living room.
goin to the folk festival tomorrow.
should be wicked.
tents are very complicated.
i got halfway through pitching it and realised near enough was good enough.
i hope that saying is true.

america the peanut butter cup

you peel back the brightly coloured garish wrapping and look for a place to put it
you find a tidy rubbish bin right on hand
you give the wrapper a lick just to make sure you haven't wasted any and are surprisingly rewarded with a little bit of chocolate, before you tuck it in the trash can
you take out the peanut butter cup and realise you'll never be able to eat the whole thing cos its massive so you break it in half to share with a friend and it splits perfectly down the middle.
you toss up between taking the right side or the left and realise it wont make a difference cos once they're seperated they could be either side depending on which way up you hold them
you nibble your half down and admire the delicious mix of salty peanut butter and sweet chocolate
and go on your way feeling satisfied, indulgent, giddy and impressed.

train movie for jk

above title is a link to little movie of desert train running through flag(staff)
u should be able to view it jk but let me know if you can't

sunsetmoonrise stoned in philly

20 hours of mad plane journeys across america and i am back in philly with a well deserved general tso's fake chicken dinner and a huge glass pipe sitting next to me.
and it all seems to be dissapearing.
the (almost) strip search at flagstaff airport cos i am such a shady character
the tiny 20 seater plane from flagstaff to phoenix with no airconditioning flying through a turbulent monsoon
the missed connecting flight in phoenix taxying away from the gate as i stood at the wrong side of the door
the run through 115 degree monsoon from terminal to terminal to get another plane ticket
the sleeping on the floor in albuquerque airport whilst waiting for massively delayed plane
the missing train ticket in new jersey...
and now,
out one window i have sunset and out the other i have moonrise.

miles and miles of desert skies - arizona unplugged

[click to enlarge]

her royal highness the grand canyon

today the desert sky

split open
like a fortune cookie
and rained down the future
upon our burning crowns.
the lightning, silent,
forked across the hill tops
to a chorus of thunderous applause
and the clanging of the bells
on the train line went unheard
as the rain poured forth
upon the deserts thirst
and our ears were filled with
a thousand drops splattering
on the ground.
squirrels ran for cover
and countless ants were drowned
and in a quarter of an hour
the sky had rained itself dry
and we licked our lips and went back outside.

cut in half by train tracks

this beautiful town - flagstaff, arizona, is tiny and cut in half by train tracks which have double decker trains passing constantly and sending their haunting toot toots out into the night, the afternoon and the day.
yesterday i saw a condor at the grandcanyon. it was huge and ancient looking, almost like a terredactyl.
it had numbers painted under its wings. you can look at a running sheet and see which condor (by number) has mated with who and with what result.
there used to be only thirteen. they've got the numbers up a bit now.

prairie dogs n peanut butter sandwhiches

road trip from new mexico through the high desert to arizona:
2 prerequisites of a road trip:
1. peanut butter, banana and reeces peanut buttercup sandwiches.
2. a car with a broken transmission that means you have to stop on the side of the road with alarming frequency.

we r staying in the Howard Johnson Motel, flagstaff, arizona. The only physical difference between this motel and the last one in Albuquerque, new mexico, is the soap. The howard johnson boys really know how to make soap. gentle, sudsy, non-crumbly soap. otherwise all is comfortingly the same in the room.

flagstaff is sweet. we are staying on here for the whole road trip because it is sweet...and because the car is broken and we can't go anywhere else. it is trailing its transmission behind it like a new born on its umbilical chord. Pete, from the repair shop, is doin his best.

went to the grandcanyon today (in a hire car).
it was surprisingly small. not.
talk about huge. i'll post a pic next week when i get back to my computer.
ancient time embodied. the newest layer of canyon is 270 million years old.
huh.

hotter than the devils hell...

bring on New Mexico. It's burning blazers here.
total desert town. spinifex, burnt adobe houses, shimmering roads, sweltering air.
lovin it lovin it lovin it.
goin road trip loco tomorrow with tali and her cousin TJ.

too cool for school

atlantic city - home of sweltering beach, slapping boardwalks, sweet salty spray, funnel cake, tourist kipple and casinos.
we decked out, bought hats, sun glasses, donut cake with chocolate sauce, walnuts n maple syrup, lay in the sand, harrys special beach-umbrella-as-a-hat flew away a million times and we got lost in the casino.
the casino has a fake sky roof which makes you dizzy when you look up at it. there is a wall of sound - falling money, bleepy bloopy machines, men pretending to croon as frank sinatra, people sighing. ladys wash their armpits in the bathrooms. it is hard not to panic and run for the exit. we blew $15 in 3 minutes on slot machine cos that's what you do right.
we no win.
we loose.
we go home...
happy from sun, sick from sweet treats, light hearted n light walleted.

hostels - the good the bad n the ugly...

nothing beats a robotics engineer for a new friend.
that is the beauty of hostelling.
the snoring, creaky bunks, & opinionated fuckwits i could do without but--
we all move on in the end: a little wiser, a lot more hungover, black eyed n tired, fucking hot, with tiny new morsels of knowledge tucked under our belts.
(the purring of the fan all night reminded me of bailey. sweet)

new york no death food for life

so
new york - a vegetarian / vegan diner on every corner.
well not exactly but there's shit loads of amazing death free food here. vegan burrittos with tempeh, fake chicken drumsticks, fake king prawns, mushroom dumplings, soy cream cheese, you name it they've done it.
new york. land where you really can do anything / eat anything.
desert still seems to be a problem though....

one haitian drummer minus band

so the poor guys entire band didn't show up for his haitian drumming extravangaza in the tiny bar in brooklyn.
so he's sitting there with his drum, wondering if he should just start banging out some shit or walk back out the door and pretend we never saw him, when the cello player from the next band up comes over n says "i'll play with you dude".
wow
haitian drumming and eastern european cello masurka melodies.
the timing was mighty tricky for them but by the end they were going off.
we were jumping around in our seats n nodding our heads n feeling like the universe had created something especially new n important right then and there.

23,000 steps

taken in New York yesterday.
land of tourist spam.
every corner has a new york hat n t-shirt on it.
i will bring one back for everyone.
if all the tourist spam took on a life of its own, it could dress itself up:
hat, t-shirt, belt, blingbling, socks, phone, wallet, and take itself off to starbucks for a coffee. we may not notice there was no actual person in there.
every park has a heroin addict, a homeless person, a tourist, a squirel, a pidgeon, a drunk, a shadow and a ray of sunshine.
every building has the aircon turned up way too high.
and every burrittoville has a vegan burritto - yum.

in a cabin by the lake in a forrest on a mountain in new york state

its a dream land here.
late evening:
theres a lake at the back of the cabin
it sheens and mists as the air temperature finally cools down for the day
the rippled surface reflects the shadowy trees
a couple of paint peeling boats sit silently in the dusk
lightening bugs streak through the forrest undergrowth briefly illuminating the scrub around them like tiny light globes flashing here n there
there is a community of stray cats with a teenage kitten dancing about pouncing on sticks n bugs n changes in the air
which smells sweet
like forrest in a bottle
except its not in a bottle
its in a mountain.

god is a biker not a DJ

theres a good jewish girl in amongst the amish

today i went in search of the pennsylvanian Amish population to see how the other side lives...
as did about 40,000 other (american) ice-cream eating tourists.

the amish: are an ancient strict christian group, don't use electricity, are farmers, will catch a ride with you but wont drive the car themselves, wear strict uniforms - blue shirts, black pants, straw boater hat (males), black pinafore, blue shirt, white cap (females), are anti-abortion, make candles, have very strict rules about how to live and what from modernity can enter the community (not extended to tourists), originate from Germany, drive horse n carts, use pins to hold their clothes together (not sewn), speak a form of German, don't like to have their photo's taken, believe in peace, make pamphlets regarding the proper behaviour of women.

With so many tourists about i feared I would not see any true Amish folk reaping their corn or banging their horseshoes. However, whilst the tourists were funnelled about the countryside in their massive tour buses, i was hoping on and off the local bus and sitting in amongst 25 real Amish folk. Ha! They smiled at me and moved over to give me room on the seat.

They didn't even mention my unsightly tatoos, lesbianism, judiasm, singlet top or shorts...

get stoned for jesus

i found this whacked out mary in the museum for modern art today. i am going to suggest that galleries issue you with an electric wheel chair upon entering the gallery so that you don't need to ask for one when you leave.

the butcher the baker n the wost bread maker in town...

(this photo is post 3 hours baking)
two attempts at making bread today in my brothers bread baker.
both hideous, horrendous and hilarious. in harry's hapartment.

just to clear up cadaver:

A dead body, especially one intended for dissection.
mattie D ur vocab is astounding.

have a heart...

obviously because i'm a geek i spent the day in the science museum.
here i learned that we still don't know how big the universe is...which was not a very massive surprise.
i also learned that i am technically dead. although, i'm not sure that is 100% correct. i'm hoping that particular interactive exhibit was broken.

shit mix 2005

clubs close in philly @ (wait for it) 2am. yes. but that was ok. cos we spent one hour walking home from the club and another hour looking for something to eat after the club so really it was like a proper night out anyway!
the club was weirldy like the inside of an apartment. loung chairs, funny tied back curtains, shit sound system, and your mate chucking on any old shit he's been listening to lately to keep you amused with no thought for continuity or mixing...
by the way, americans are really very friendly people. so encouraging and warm. it is great to experience. i am thinking of becoming more friendly.

weaned off -

so i'm kissing goodbye to my addictions.
1. the coffee here is so weak i can barely feel it. my heart is beating very sluggishly... but perhaps that is how the heart is meant to be?
2. no more ciggarettes. i don't want to jinx myself (or blow my own horn) but i have not smoked for 5 days. that's right. not smoked anything for 5 days. anything. at all. i did take a rather large deep breath as i walked past a smoker in the club we went to last night but hey, still no lighting up for me.
thank you.

fake death

life is sweet @ THE KINGDOM OF VEGETARIANS (bought the t-shirt) , life is complete, life is preserved cos they use all fake meat. man its the best chinese food i ever ate. fake king prawns, fake chicken, fake death to taste life.

making our mark on the manayunk art festival...

sponsored by ABSOLUT vodka - theme: ABSOLUT vodka. excellent to see them getting the kids involved...

philly by night

harry blows up...

the blow up matress for my night of bobbing up n down on a vodka lake in dream land...

finally philly...

so not only are the cars massive, and some of the people to boot, but they don't measure shots here so my Jack Daniels was hhhuuggeee. but i'm still walking...

and the lady i met...

outside the nude live nude girls dance club while we waited at the busstop said that australia is the same temperature now as it was 100 years ago. i didn't ask her where her fact came from, however i mentioned that i thought that the industrial revolution might have had even a minor effect on the temperature of the planet in the last 100 years and she said that's bollox. i love people who just know things.

i noticed...

that not only are there alot of larger people here but they drive absolutely monster trucks too.

random man blowing bubbles in the carpark

the sun goes down on LA